


And I Found Truth in Your Eyes

by TenTomatoes



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: M/M, Mirror Universe, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-06
Updated: 2017-02-06
Packaged: 2018-09-22 09:46:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9602306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TenTomatoes/pseuds/TenTomatoes
Summary: It's only when Julian meets Garak in the mirror universe does he realize some things about his own Garak that should have been obvious all along.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Ignore the fact Julian and Kira meet Garak first when they get on the station, I might have forgotten that.

Julian knew that signing up for Starfleet was signing up for daring escapades and thrilling adventures, that had actually been most of the appeal, but somehow even his wildest fantasy couldn't compare to this.

Kirk’s trip to an alternate universe by way of transporter was just another chapter in his history textbook, a little story that he suspected that they only put in because they wanted to trick cadets into thinking Starfleet was more exciting than it was. He had scanned it over, taking a moment to marvel the scientific implications and the sheer strangeness of it, and then quickly moved on to the next section. That part wasn’t going to be on the test so what was the point?

As Julian was led through a dark and hot and very Cardassian version of the station he decided he should have looked at that section just a little closer.

He was being dragged in the direction of ops but who knew where he would end up on this twisted version of the station. Major Kira and he had been split up, which was less than ideal but he had the feeling that Major Kira was in less trouble than he was from the respectful and fearful glances the inhabitants had given her as she was led to whoever this Intendent was. She was being sent to the leader of the station, he assumed, but he had no idea what they were planning to do with him. He doubted the Klingons who were escorting him would tell him if he asked so he busied himself with searching out any familiar faces. He swore he saw Morn wandering in the direction to where Quark’s would be, it didn't help but it was comforting to know there were some universal constants even if it was just Morn being at Quark’s. 

He was momentarily surprise when Julian realized he was being pushed into the security section. The Klingons roughly pushed him into a cell, the force field making an electric zing as it was put up. Julian had a sudden feeling that this force field was not as gentle as the one back home and touching it would give a bit more than a small shock.

“What are you going to do with me,” Julian asked, hoping it came out more suave Bond than kidnapped love interest. He wasn't sure he succeeded. 

The Klingon guards spat something he didn't understand and left laughing disturbingly. Well, that’s good he supposed. They weren't going to torture him. At least, not right now. Julian paced in the cell racking his mind for something he could do. He could see if there was any way to get into the system from here but he had a feeling that was a longer shot than a sensible person would take, he wasn't O'Brien. If only someone was here he could try to get some information out of them. Garak had taught him a lot about how to get information from people who didn’t want to give him information.

Garak, he paused in his pacing. He wondered if Garak was still on this station. Julian shook his head and began pacing again. Garak was probably not even exiled in this universe, still happily working for the Cardassian State doing whatever he did. Julian wondered if he should feel happy for this universe’s Garak; he couldn’t pretend thinking of Garak's past life didn't set him on edge, but he was well aware how torturous his exile was to him. He ignored the voice in his head, that sounded suspiciously like Commander Sisko, and felt happiness for this universe's Garak, living his life the way he wished to. He wondered if this Garak, where ever he was, would meet a Julian Bashir.

Julian snapped those thoughts out of his head, he didn’t have time for idle wondering. He needed to think of something. How to get out, how to contact the Major, how to contact DS9, anything would be more helpful than dreaming about some fantasy Garak and him being a universal constant. He sat on the bench, mind whirling through scenario after scenario.

His thoughts were ground to a stop when the door opened with a low hiss. Apprehension settled low in his stomach as he prepared for whoever might come through. Perhaps the Intendent, perhaps Odo if he was still here in this universe, perhaps someone he hadn’t met on his side. He wasn’t sure who he hoped it would be. As the figure strode into the room Julian felt as though the bench had suddenly disappeared. 

“Garak?” he gasped.

He had just convinced himself he’d never see his friend on this station but here he stood. So confident, so large, garbed in armor, a phasor in hand, it was unsettling. Julian realized he was seeing what Garak would be if he wasn’t forced to pretend to be a simple tailor. His Garak was always making himself smaller, smiling to settle nerves (or increase them if he felt necessary), playing up the part of an innocent and harmless shopkeeper just trying to earn his keep. This Garak didn’t look particularly innocent or harmless but Julian was shocked to see a familiar smile curling its way onto Garak’s face.

“Well, it seems the Terran knows me. How splendid!”

When Garak spoke, Julian was more surprised than he had been with his presence itself. He hadn’t expected this Garak to sound so jovial and bright, so like his own Garak, not when everything else about him was hard and dangerous.

“Tell me, what’s your designation.”

At Julian’s silence, Garak continued.

“Oh my, no designation. How about a name? How quaint the Terran goes by a name don’t you? Really, this is turning out to be an exciting day.”

The last sentence was something he had heard his own Garak say just yesterday with the same exact inflection and head tilt, only his Garak was talking about a particularly challenging commission from a Betazoid Ambassador. But topic was the only difference. Julian didn’t even realize he hadn’t answered Garak’s question until he suddenly raised his eye ridges and huffed. The same kind he did when Julian responded in a way he didn’t wish for when they were discussing literature.

“Don’t tell me you’re brain dead. Surly you can answer a question or two or are Terrans from your side as incompetent as this one. Or perhaps it is jarring for you to speak to someone you knew on your side.”

Oh god, Julian suddenly realized something. He felt a bubble of laughter roll up his chest. He tried to keep it down but it pushed its way out. Garak froze and gave him an incredulous and slightly wary look but that didn’t help. It made it worse in fact, another chuckle slipped out, and another, and another until Julian was covering his mouth laughing ridiculously. It was probably the combination of the stressful situation and the realization that made him so hysterical but he found it almost impossible to smother his laughter, even as Garak got increasingly agitated. Julian forced himself back in control, this wasn’t his Garak, he wasn’t safe with him.

“I’m afraid I don’t know what you find so funny,” Garak said dangerously.

“I apologize. Really I do,” Julian said between his last huffs. “It’s just that all this time I thought your tone and mannerism were exaggerated on purpose. I never realized you were actually just naturally melodramatic and ridiculous. Though I should have known it when you broke into my room in the middle of the night.”

With Garak, who was so use to lying Julian was sure he himself didn’t know the truth, it was almost impossible to tell what about him was real and what was carefully crafted for whatever reason Garak desired. Learning anything about the man was almost impossible. Sure he knew certain things, like Garak’s opinion on the color combination of yellow and orange, his secret preference of Earth poetry to Cardassian, his small chocolate obsession, his favorite Cardassian novel (his favorite earth novel so far), but most things Garak kept so close to the chest or even constantly changed his answer to keep Julian from ever knowing the truth. He didn’t even know if Garak actually liked tailoring. He didn’t even know if he truly liked _him_ for all their time spent together. For so long, Julian thought Garak’s embellishments and drama were a way to confuse him, keep him guessing. Julian had even gotten miffed at Garak several times thinking his exaggerated tone was an insult to his intelligence, treating him like a child. But no, Garak really was just a gigantic drama king for no other reason than that’s who he is. This revelation brought Julian more joy than he could explain.

This Garak, however, was looking far from joyful. In three smooth strides Garak passed the force field, which dropped instantly at his touch, grabbed Julian’s throat and slammed him against the wall. The pain and shock stunned him for a second. Right, this wasn’t his Garak. This Garak saw him nothing more than a disposable nuisance he probably wasn’t allowed to kill, seeing as he was still alive.

“I don’t know what I let you get away with in your universe, but here you must learn it’s not polite to laugh at others.” Garak’s hand tightened his grip ever so slightly as his smile came back full force.

This close Julian found that this smile wasn’t identical to his Garak’s. Even though the placement was alike to the last millimeter, even the head tilt at the perfect angle, there was a difference in his eyes. They were so cold. It was only faced with these frozen eyes that Julian was able to recognize the warmth that his own Garak’s exudes. There was so much fondness in his eyes, he had just never been able to see.

It probably spoke poorly of Julian’s sense of self preservation that even with this Garak’s hand around his neck, stranded in an unknown universe with little help to get out, he felt warmth curl in his chest. Garak really cared for him.

Garak must have realized Julian wasn’t learning his lesson as he tightened his hand once more and slammed the back of Julian’s head against the wall. His eye sight went spinning and when Garak released his throat he slipped down the wall back to his seat on the bench. Garak stepped out of the cell, the force field coming back up instantly.

“I can’t imagine a universe where I would allow such impudence from a Terran, you must come from a dark place,” Garak told him with calculating eyes.

He was fishing for information; Julian knew that look. He wondered if he should say anything, but he had learned a lot from Garak on how to tell someone something and tell them exactly what they didn’t want to know.                

“I assure you have come to appreciate my impudence. Though I suppose you had little choice seeing as you can’t punish your friends in the way I expect you would like to.”

Garak responded to that sentence with just enough sarcastic surprise to show that he really was surprised.

“Friends. A dark universe, indeed.”

Julian smiled back at him dryly.

“You find it a too bright actually.”                      

That was a bit dangerous. It could tell this Garak that the station is no longer under Cardassian control but it could also tell him that Julian and the other Garak were close enough that Garak told him the truth about his discomfort. Garak was melodramatic but he wasn’t a complainer, he only hoped this Garak was the same.

“And I suppose too cold as well,” Garak said, chipper as always.

“Yes, but you’ve told me that the company makes up for it.”

Garak had actually said that to him. He was lying of course, as Garak does, however this Garak might not realize that.

“And I suppose next you’ll tell me we enjoy numerous lunches together discussing literature. I should have hoped I had at least taught you to lie better than this.”

So, he had realized it was a lie. But, the rest was puzzling. Julian gave him a questioning glance.

“How did you know about our lunches?”

Did this Garak actually have another Julian with him? The question made Garak startle, small enough that Julian almost missed it.

“Ah, you were much better this time. I almost believed you weren’t lying.”

“I wasn’t lying,” Julian frowned.

The smile Garak had stayed plastered to his face but his bearing changed in a way that Julian hadn’t expected. There was anger, no not just anger but hatred, disgust, and something that Julian couldn’t read. He could see the gears turning in Garak’s, picking each word with care that Julian always came to expect with him but he couldn’t understand why the idea of lunches and literature sharing seemed to have caused such a reaction. Was the idea of their friendship that horrible? Distasteful sure but that horrible?

“The Garak of your universe must be the most despicable creature. If only I could go put him out of his misery and such misery he must be in,” Garak said with just enough steel under his tone that Julian almost shivered.

Julian searched for something to say but Garak plowed on.

“No, if this Garak is anything like I’m picturing him to be, he deserves to be in such misery. Cold, bright, with only the company of a pathetic Terran. Whatever did he do to deserve such a bitter existence? He must be weak, weaker than I. Spineless. A traitor. No I shouldn’t save this man from his life, I should make it worse.”

Garak’s eyes took on a sharp edge that Julian reminded of when his Garak’s implant had malfunctioned. It was the first time he had felt true fear of his friend, even the first time Garak had introduced himself on the replimat he had been nervous but surely not afraid, not in the way he had been when Garak had stared at him across an overturned table with nothing to lose, not in the way he felt right now with this Garak leaning forward with murder in his eyes.

“But alas!” Garak exclaimed, throwing his head dramatically. “You are not to be touched unless the Intendent’s new friend allows so, I’ve been told. And I’m afraid I’m not one for denying orders.”

Julian didn’t need to know Garak as well as he did to be able to see he was lying. Julian shivered as him turned away.

“Now, I’m off to see what we are to do with you.”

Garak left without another word. Julian hadn’t realized he was running on adrenaline until it ran out and his legs felt like shaking. He took a few deep breaths, steadying himself and tried to get back to what he was doing before Garak showed up, thinking of a way out of this.

 

 

They got back, to say the least. Julian wasn’t sure how, mostly luck and people having a change of heart at just the right time. It made for an exciting report and a slightly less exciting and more uncomfortable debriefing. How did you tell your commander and friend that an alternate version of yourself basically kept him as a boy toy when he wasn’t out capturing his own people and turning them in for slavery? Luckily Julian didn’t have to know how, that was Major Kira’s problem.

Being off that station, Julian felt like he could breathe again. He was trying to look at his time there as one of those new and exciting experiences he had signed up with Starfleet for, but when he thought of the processing plant his heart started beating faster and his skin began to feel too tight. He had learned more than just how to process ore down there. He had learned exactly why the Major had bared her teeth at him when he waltzed onto the station in his ignorance and arrogance when he first arrived. It had only been a taste, a moment, but Julian had always been good at extrapolating and he was aghast with how he had glorified the Bajorian's suffering. But now he knew. It was too easy to lose yourself, he realized. His bones were aching in a way he wondered would ever go away.  

But he was home now. His bright, comfortable, and safe home. He had inventoried the infirmary as soon as he had finished the paperwork Starfleet required, grounding himself with each hypospray and virus sample. He was a doctor. He had no designation. He was Doctor Julian Sabito Bashir.

He was startled from his state when a cup was place by his hand. He smiled and turned to thank one of his nurses but instead he found Garak, smiling down at him. There was a moment where Julian's body tensed, remembering the feeling of that Garak’s hand around his throat. But then he caught sight of Garak’s eyes, bright and blue and so strangely warm, and all the fear fled. They might have had the same smile but this was his Garak. His Garak, who was so much softer around him than Julian would have ever noticed.

“Garak, it’s good to see you,” Julian exclaimed. And it really was. His tense body was relaxing, his bones warming, a reminder that he had learned something special on that station. Something that almost made it worth it all.

“My dear doctor, I assure you it’s much better to see you. You and the Major gave the station quite the scare when you didn’t show up on time.”

Oh, how Julian had hated when Garak called him that. He had thought it sounded so sarcastic, so much like one of his overbearing Aunts who talked over his head like he couldn’t hear or understand her. But now it made his smile widen and his stomach tingle, he understood now that he truly meant it as a term of endearment. A theatrical endearment from a theatrical man. It made him feel giddy.

“And what about you Garak? Did we give you a scare as well?” Julian asked.

It was almost shameful how obvious his question was, Garak would be disappointed in him, but he wasn’t in the mood for sly and teasing.

Garak huffed at him.

“I had no time to be scared because at the same time my lunch companion thought it was wise to stand me up. You have no idea how miffed I was.”

Julian didn’t realize his smile could get any wider but it did.

“How terrible of him. Some people just have no manners. He must be dreadfully sorry.”

Garak’s smiled softened ever so slightly, but with the other Garak still fresh in his mind it spoke volumes.

“I suppose I’ll have to forgive him, unless I find someone else willing to have lunch with an old tailor,”

“You know, I think I could be of assistance in this case.” Julian stood up from his chair. “How about lunch right now, I’m feeling peckish.”

“I would love to, my dear.”

They turned to leave the infirmary and Julian had the strongest urge to reach out and link arms with Garak, pull him closer until he could feel the expansion and decompression of his lungs. He mentally shook himself. His realization about Garak was making him punch-drunk, nothing had changed since he left the station but Julian's own perceptions. He had never touched Garak before. He had no reason to touch him now. 

“You can tell me all about whatever kept you from arriving back on time,” Garak said innocently.

Julian gave him an amused look, of course Garak already knew.

“Perhaps I will.”

Garak graciously waited until they were sitting at their table with their lunches before prompting Julian with a raise of an eye ridge. Julian wasted no time giving him the summery of his trip, focusing to the parts he knew Garak would like. The history, the politics, the players. Julian paused, wondering how to continue.

“You know, I met you in that Universe,” Julian mentioned carefully.  

Garak tensed and his smile dropped almost indistinguishably.

‘Oh,” Garak said. “Still a tailor I suppose?”

Julian wondered what Garak wanted him to say. Would it make him feel better know that at least one version of him was doing the job he was trained and actually liked to do? Or would it make his exile that much worse? Perhaps he had taken comfort in the idea that this was the only life he could have and the idea of another version of him neither in exile or shammed would be like a kick in the stomach. Julian almost wished he hadn’t brought it up. But he didn’t think he could get through the story without Garak’s involvement.

“No, not a tailor. Not a gardener either before you ask. You were the Intendent’s first officer.”

Garak smile dimmed. Julian was confused to see he almost looked afraid.

“I see. That must have been rather." Garak paused. "Shocking for you to see.”

It clicked in Julian’s mind then. He didn’t just see a different version of Garak, he saw the kind of person Garak had been. Or more honestly the person Garak might still wish to be. Strong, powerful, even cruel and sadistic. Garak was always hiding who he was but Julian knew the other universes' Garak was more true than any of the false hoods his own Garak shrouded himself with. He knew that there was cruelty in Garak, there was the ability to hurt and torture, to kill. He had faced that truth when Garak spun his pain induced stories during his implant malfunction. But it seemed Garak didn't realize he knew.

And now Garak was watching him, tense and guarded, waiting for Julian to toss him aside now that his true nature was no longer a fun little mystery for Garak to weave and Julian to solve.

Julian tried valiantly to keep a grin from stretching across his face. He _had_ seen Garak’s true nature.

“Actually I was rather surprised. That Garak and you weren’t all that different, really.”

Julian watched Garak closely but he didn't move a muscle. That was just as telling, Garak wasn't sure where Julian is going with this.

“I learned something very important over there,” Julian said, schooling his features into something more somber.

Garak’s grin had completely fallen at this point. Julian felt almost bad for how much fun he was having being the one with the secret hand for once.

“About me?” Garak asked, dubiously.

“Yes, it’s something I really should have known. It’s been obvious since the first time we met but I suppose I was ignoring it. It was a poor judgment, with you I have a hard time separating the lies and the truth and I was bound to take one for the other eventually.

“But it wasn’t until I saw that Garak that I realized that I had been mistaken. You and he are so similar and I realized there was little chance you’d both use the same lie to cover the truth so it really must be the truth.”

Garak was starting to look sick and Julian felt a pang of regret. He was pushing this too far. And yet, the regret was shadowed by happiness. This was just more proof of how much Garak actually liked him. Garak did enjoyed his company and the idea that might be over was clearly giving him pain. Julian wondered it made him sadistic that he took joy in it.

Finally, he smiled.

“You really are a ridiculous drama queen aren’t you?”

Garak visibly startled and Julian had to restrain himself from whooping in celebration.

“I’m sorry?” Garak asked incredulous.

“I thought no one could be so dramatic what with your secrets and half-truths but then I met the other Garak and he was just as ridiculous as you are. He even did the exaggerated eye role and huff that you like so much. It almost got me killed I was laughing so hard.”

Garak was staring at him like he couldn’t believe he was real. It made Julian’s smile brighten and rest his chin on his hands, taking in every reaction. He watched as realization slowly set in and Garak’s eyes lost their hardness, turning almost painfully soft. That’s right, Julian thought, you’re not getting rid of me that easily. Garak’s smile slowly appeared again as soft as his eyes.

“Why my dear doctor, will you never cease to amaze me?” Garak said. Julian could tell he was trying for his normal flare but his relief had made it too fond to be either mysterious or guarded.

Julian matched his smile.

“I would hope not, or else I’d be out of a lunch partner.”

Garak shot a hand to his chest, eyes glittering.

“I wouldn’t dream of it, especially after you came to my rescue when my own lunch partner refused to show up.”

Julian had the urge to reach out again. His fingers twitched but he amused them by shoveling a piece of the food he’d been ignoring into his mouth. He was afraid that this moment was going to end if he were to do anything like that. He couldn’t do it, act on urges and feelings even he didn’t truly understand yet, so soon after he just realized he had them. Instead he was content to sit and watch Garak, surely as bright and happy as Julian was feeling, even as he sent him a long suffering glance as his full mouth.

As Garak launched into his old rant Julian thought about the day he might tell Garak about the more important thing he learned about him in that other universe.

How he and that Garak were different.

 

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was born because of the scene in I think the second mirror universe episode when Garak is fighting and he lets out this ridiculous bellow of a battle cry and I died of laughter at him being so dramatic. Cardassian's are the Sharpay Evans and Regina Georges of the universe.


End file.
